Equality in the bedroom

To Make You Think 1 Response »
May 222011

Why does sex change everything?

S-E-X – that good old forbidden word – or is it? Why are some cultures like the Italians ALL about sex and passion and others like the English all about not mentioning the word unless they are plastered…I find it intriguing how many people never spoke (or speak) to their parents about sex. Why is it like this and is it still like this today for the younger generation?

I am not sure that much has actually changed when it comes to sexual equality in the bedroom. Women are demanding equal rights in all aspects of life, whether it be salary, politics, childcare, maternity/paternity leave, equal opportunities etc BUT how come when a women sleeps with a man (now I am generalizing here)  it changes everything? Suddenly they become vulnerable, want a commitment and if it doesn’t work out then they feel used. I don’t quite get this last part because surely when an adult enters into any form of agreement with another adult it should be on equal terms. So why does this not happen under the duvet?

This is where I become passionate about coaching women as I see so many women not valuing themselves enough to demand the respect they deserve from men.  Self-respect is critical to having self-confidence and self-worth. If we don’t respect ourselves, how can we demand it from others? We start respecting ourselves through our actions and taking self -responsibility. When a man and a women have a wild night of passion and it is only that – they should both see it as a fun night to remember and it was only a moment and not meant to necessarily be anything more. He shouldn’t be the stud and she shouldn’t be slag.

Posted by Hilbre at 12:22 pm

Where has my time gone?

Making Life Easier 4 Responses »
May 102011

I was in Dorset last week spending time with my new little god daughter and I was just so in awe of watching my friend doing such a fabulous job of juggling a new born and a toddler (of which I am sure many of you reading this will know only too well how hard this is). Not being a mother I find it interesting – and to be honest often quite sad – that when women become mothers their position in society seems to go straight to the bottom of the pile. Even the dog gets preference. Whilst I love animals I do find it hard when I see women not making any time for themselves, even in the smallest of ways. They seem to just struggle to cope with the many demands of the day to day.

So many of my clients come to coaching just so they can give themselves the small gift of their coaching time to re-connect with who they were before they became mothers. Time to really talk and time to be really listened to. Time to have the focus just on them and time to make a list of the things they want to do for themselves. Why is it that women are still in so many ways the inferior sex? While I don’t consider myself a feminist, I do believe that women should know their self worth and be true to themselves in terms of their own needs. I understand that being a parent requires a certain amount of sacrifice but surely that shouldn’t be to the detriment of losing one’s sense of self.

To all the mothers out there – always remember you were a woman in your own right before you became a mother and your children will leave home one day and you will need to re-connect with who you once were. Don’t leave it too long that you end up not knowing yourself.

Make time for yourself – no matter how small that time may be.

 

 

Posted by Hilbre at 6:32 am

What a week-end!

News, To Make You Think No Responses »
May 032011

This week-end certainly makes history with the perfect fairytale wedding to start – nearly half the world watching and an unbelievably huge turn out in London itself.

Continued sunshine and no rain. According to BBC Weather, the statistics haven’t been fully compiled yet but it does look like April 2011 will go down as the warmest and driest April on record (never a shortage of a weather stat in the UK).

Two 4 day week-ends back-to-back and as Jamie said on London’s Heart this morning – ended with the capture of the evil man.

It certainly is a week-end of change in the form of a younger and more updated royal family that seem perfectly normal. From the reports of the after parties – in fact sound wilder than most. It has taken 10 years for Osama Bin Laden to be killed – one forgets just how long the Afghanistan war has been going on.

I think we should just take a moment to reflect that this was quite an extraordinary week-end with lots of change to come as a result…

Posted by Hilbre at 7:40 am